so my christmas was pretty good. i got a scanner/ printer (thank god) and a new camera. got coraline (!!!!!!!!!) on dvd ad hp6 :] a few books ive been wanting and a bunch of little stuff. oh did i mention that i got a my little pony? yeah i think that's going to be a yearly joke with me and my dad. for those of you who do not know the story about the my little pony...

ahem! *clears throat and starts story*

twas the night before christmas and all through the house the only creature that was stirring was the 17 year old who wanted the itouch for christmas. and a laptop (but never thought in a million years she'd get one) so she sneeked a peek at her chirstmas gifts (which she never does she was just desperate) and found a box that looked like an ipod box. now come christmas morning that was the first present she reached for. only to realize upon opening that it was a my little pony and sadly not an itouch. but fear not little ones because she got her laptop instead and christmas was saved :]

*ends story*

now the story as to why my dad bought me one in the first place.

my dad and i had this joke going. i'd ask for some video game or something and if it was expesive enough, he'd ask me what color i wanted my my little pony in.

true story.

so yes now that story time is over i shall tell you how my christmas went. christmas eve i had to work but after work i went to my grandmas house like every year to do gifts with my aunt uncle cousins grandparents and parents. went to bed at like 2 and woke up at five. my mom was not pleased that i woke her up too lmao. then opened gifts and waited until ten (my mom napped the whole time) to go over my aunts house for breakfast like every year. i got my yearly cinnamon bun lol. then back home to get ready for my great aunts house. my mom straightened my hair lol. but we went there and of course my family had the yearly argument over the rules of yankee swap. it got so bad that my mom walked out of the room. :l but oh well. all in all it wasnt that bad. my christmas ended this morning when i went to my aunts house (on my dad's side this time) and i saw my cousin and aunt and grandpa. it was nice i havent seen them in a long time.

and i gave my girlfriend her christmas gifts last night :] she liked them. she's so adorable she bought me a new sketch pad with some colored pencils and on the first page she wrote something to me. i think i want to use it to draw pictures just for her. and maybe give back to her as a gift one day. now if only i knew what to draw her...?

i got sick at work yesterday. and the first thing i got asked was not “are you okay”, but was asked “are you pregnant?”




so i was like “im only 18”

she replied “so?”

so i was like “um im gay”

she replied “so???”

so i was like “last time i checked there werent that many 18 year old lesbians…”


oh the joys of working at walmart where the two main things im asked are "how old are you?" and "are you pregnant/ have you ever been pregnant?"



oh yeah. and i dont think i get a christmas tree this year. my mom asked my dad to put it up. i asked my dad to put it up. he still hasnt put it up. even though there are only 3 days until christmas. not including today. christmas is going to suck. no christmas tree and my dad has to work in the morning. and then my parents wil probably argue as always. and then my mom is going to hate her gift like always.

i hate christmas in this house.

when i have my own place it's going to be done right. because here it's just about "oh here i got you this gift because im supposed to." that's not what christmas is about. christmas is about family and giving.

i hate it here. my family is not a family we're just three people living in a house.


edit: oh yeah so i found out today that my dad has to work christmas night. so basically im going to be able to see him long enough to give him his gift and that's it. he's going to sleep his way through christmas. so im not going to see him. christmas needs to be over with now. im so over it. this christmas sucks.

standing out here in the pouring rain, tears falling from my eyes. not that anyone can see. out of nowhere she comes behind me and holds an umbrella over me. she gives me that huge smile that makes my heart melt. takes me inside and keeps me safe and warm. with her the tears dry up.


any thoughts about this? i want to enter contest. the theme is "umbrella."

i know i want to do more work on it. but idk my hearts not really into writing right now im not really feeling well.

everyone get all their christmas shopping done? im almost done. just like one or two more things then more wrapping paper because i used it all today lol. im excited i have it mostly done and wrapped. i want to be able to relax just before the holiday. i cant wait until next week. usually i dont look forward to christmas at all. but i am this year. hopefully it wont blow up in my face.

anyway i think i might be having to go to urgent care sometime soon.

im back to not feeling well unfortunately. which really sucks. but hopefully being at work will at least distract me most of the day because it's really busy now seeing as it's christmas next week.

but on a brighter note my girlfriend and i have been having really deep conversations lately, like we used to. im really glad we've gotten back to that because it seems like ever since i started my job we started having problems. so for the past few days we've been good and that really makes me happy. cuz i missed it. and i hope we dont go through anything like that again but if we do i have a pretty good feeling that we'd talk our way through it :]


ilovehersomuch

nothing ever seems to go right.

fuck it im gonna cut.

who the fuck cares anymore.

edit: i didnt. i distracted myself. and while i still feel like crap, im not going to cut.